


Falling Faster

by dawnsovereign



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I don't know, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Memes, idk but i'm just gonna type it with shuichi since i'm used to that, is it shuichi or shuuichi oml, maybe some later ouma/saihara/amami because i love them, mentions of past physical abuse, ouma is very self-degrading, please give ouma a break, possible happy ending?, the oumasai or oumasaimami isn't the main focus here lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10059350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnsovereign/pseuds/dawnsovereign
Summary: summary;;based off a college/non-despair au, but with angst and in it ouma has numerous siblings and is the youngest out of all of them, and he's labeled the "family's top failure" and honestly just let the poor child rest and be happy for once (extended summary in 1st chapter)-I'm tagging this under "Graphic Depictions of Violence" since this will probably get very.. brutal, either in flashbacks or something, and possible trigger mentions are listed in the tags (will probably update every so often)also rated teen for swearing and dirty jokes because I'm so matureupdate schedule; usually every friday (but may update before then)





	1. Extended Summary (Introduction)

One would think that by looking at his demeanor, Kokichi Ouma was a relatively happy, although devious, child. But they were so very, very wrong.

Kokichi was the youngest child, with 3 older siblings. The eldest sibling was the family's pride and joy, CEO of a company, while the other two were attending the top universities, excelling in all their classes. But Kokichi? He was a mediocre student, being accepted into an average university, with average grades. He himself was average at best, even though he was one of the best members in his university's drama club, and excelled in the arts. However, it wasn't enough for his family. It was never enough. Even though he knew this, he still wanted to be the son they wanted him to be. They called him worthless, said he wasn't a true member of the family due to his basic, average status, even though he was their own flesh and blood.

He wanted to shed the label of "family failure" and become "family prodigy". Hell, he at least wanted to be considered a family member.

Unfortunately for Kokichi, his family's viciousness didn't stop at just calling him worthless. They're threatening to kick him out. According to them, "You're already in college. We can't salvage you. You have 3 months to prove you aren't some litter on the side of the road, or we're disowning you and never want to see you again."

Even though his family has tormented him and them no longer being a part of his life would better him, he still doesn't want to lose them. And so, he keeps on trying- always believing that he'll prove them wrong, he will be a great student, he will be worthy of their love.

He never stops working, much to his friends' concern. His boyfriend, Shuichi Saihara, is even more worried. According to Shuichi, "Kokichi's blood is probably 99% caffeine at this point with all that coffee and soda he drinks. He's sleep deprived, he's basically killing himself at this point.."

Kokichi's exhausting himself; he barely sleeps, pulling all-nighters to focus on his studies. He practically lives off of Cup Noodles and grape Panta, along with the ever loved coffee. He knows he's wrecking his body, but he doesn't stop. His all night studying doesn't help him much in class, as he often falls asleep during a lecture, leading to him to have to study the missed work, and the cycle repeats itself.

Shuichi and his friend Rantarou Amami are in most of his classes, so they try to help him catch up on the missed work, but more often than not, he pushes them away, much to their dismay. He feels that earning back his family's love is something he should do alone, even though his friends beg him to let them help.

Kokichi's sanity is slowly starting to slip away, he fell into a depression, and everything progressively got worse.

He's really trying his best, but he doesn't know how much longer he can hold on before 3 months is up, or before his sanity fades completely.

He just wants his family to accept him, to treat him like a normal human being again.


	2. 1;;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi stresses over an essay but eventually it turns to stress about that dreaded deadline, and Rantarou's just trying to be a good friend

He honestly had no idea what he was doing. 

Kokichi let out a defeated sigh, staring blankly at the half-finished English essay on his desk, the countless blank lines staring back up at him, almost mockingly. If he couldn't finish a single English essay, how was he supposed to earn back his family's respect? He leaned back in his chair, a troubled look briefly crossing his face. The thought plagued him for a few more moments, before a knock on his dormitory door brought him back to reality. 

"Kokichi? It's me, may I come in?" a familiar voice called, "I brought you something!" 

The purple haired boy stifled a chuckle, standing up and walking to his door, opening to reveal the grinning face of none other than Rantarou, who appeared to be holding a small, brown shopping bag. Perhaps he bought Kokichi some sugary drink or sweets? 

"You said you had something for me?" Kokichi asked, motioning for his friend to come inside. 

"Sure do, I got you a bottle of that weird drink.. Panta, right?" Rantarou stepped inside Kokichi's dorm and pulled the treasured purple Panta bottle out of the bag, letting out a light chuckle when he caught sight of Kokichi's excited gaze that only the sugary grape drink could elicit. 

"Oh my god, Rantarou Amami, I love you so much. Thank you, I needed this, really!" Kokichi was practically quivering with excitement, reaching for the beloved Panta. 

"Oh, so you love me, huh? Love me enough to-" 

"GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN PANTA ALREADY OR YOU'RE GOING FROM 'BEST FRIEND' TO 'TRASHY AVOCADO'." 

Rantarou stared at Kokichi for a moment, not taking his threat too seriously, because in Rantarou's eyes.. Kokichi was about as scary and threatening as a kitten. But, he decided to play along and gave his friend the desired sugary drink. "Okay, you win~" 

"Finally." Kokichi huffed with an air of annoyance, uncapping the bottle and taking a sip. "You take too long to give me things I want, you know." 

"Like what? My di-"

"RANTAROU." 

Rantarou raised his hands in surrender, laughing at the very agitated look Kokichi now wore on his face. Normally, Kokichi would have laughed along with him, despite dating Shuichi, but he would know Rantarou didn't really mean it. But now.. 

Kokichi stared sullenly at the floor, putting the bottle down on his table. "Hey, Rantarou.. can we maybe talk for a little bit? You're a good listener, and I need to put off doing that essay for a while so my head doesn't explode."

"Alright, but I doubt that's why you want to talk. Is something bothering you?" his friend replied. 

"..Naturally." Kokichi sat on the couch, Rantarou sitting next to him. "It's just.. I don't know how I can do it." He sighed, resting his head in his hands.

"I doubt you're speaking about the essay, so.. you don't know how to earn back the respect of your family, is that it?" Rantarou placed his hand on Kokichi's shoulder, his tone gentle, almost prompting Kokichi to open up and talk about his fear. 

"Well, yeah.. they expect so much. Want me to excel at everything like my brothers. So what if I'm not their perfect fourth child, at least I'm good in Drama Club and my art classes. I can't do it. I can't, I can't.. I'm not good enough," He chuckled sadly, gripping his hair. Rantarou noticed this and gently squeezed Kokichi's shoulder to try and calm him down, but the effort was futile. "I can't even keep my own emotions in check. Look at me, a mess. A.. disgusting, useless mess." 

"Kokichi.. you are many things, but disgusting, useless, and a mess aren't any of those things. You have a right to feel upset.." Rantarou murmured, absentmindedly continuing to squeeze Kokichi's shoulder. 

"Why am I even trying? Why am I.. still clinging to that hope, when they showed me more than once how much they don't want me..?" The question was barely more than a whisper, but hearing it left Rantarou speechless, as that question just so happened to carry the weight of how much stress, how much confusion, how much.. despair Kokichi has been dealing with. 

"Kokichi.. how long have you felt that way..?" 

"..Like when this whole god damn ordeal started.."

Rantarou's eyes widened slightly, pulling Kokichi into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry.." 

"I just want to be like a normal university student. You know, going to clubs and parties, having fun, not worrying about your shit family.. it's ironic. I know they're horrible, but I still want to go back to them, to feel accepted.." 

"Well.. doesn't every human being want to feel accepted, especially by their own family?" 

"True, true.. but Rantarou, you don't really know what they did."

"Well.. could you inform me then, if it isn't too much to ask?" Rantarou asked, staring at Kokichi with worry. 

"..Rantarou, they hurt me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in all honesty i wasn't expecting this fic to get positive feedback in such a short time, thank you, omg,,  
> in other words i kinda drew up some designs for what their clothes/hairstyles look like since i did change them up a little bit,, and i'll probably post them to my tumblr?  
> also about how frequently this'll be updated: I'll try for every Friday (but I may forget sometimes or just life may happen, or on the better side of the spectrum I'll update a few times over the course of a week), and that may change at some point, but there's a general idea? I'll try for longer chapters too,,  
> and the more i add to this the more i need to update tags lmao


	3. 2;;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi opens up more about what it was like during his childhood, Rantarou's really trying his best, and Shuichi memes.

"Rantarou.. they hurt me."

"What do you mean..? Hurt like, physically, sexually, psychologically..?" Rantarou stared at Kokichi, fear quickly showing in his eyes.

"Physically and psychologically. I was.. 'too disgusting' for them to even consider sexually assaulting me. I guess it was helpful to be considered gross then, but it didn't stop them from beating and degrading me." Kokichi laughed, staring at the floor. "I mean, the psychological abuse started when I was what.. only like, 7 years old, and you can probably tell it still hasn't stopped, even though I moved out. And they never told me what I did wrong, to earn being called things like that. The physical abuse started when I was 11. Apparently, I had 'gained the tolerance' to endure harsh beatings. I was still so young.."

"Kokichi.. I'm sure you never did anything wrong.."

"No, I probably did. Knowing them.. everything they disliked was deemed as 'wrong' and immediately required harsh punishment. You want to know what's really sick, Rantarou?"

"..What?"

"I.. basically went into such a state of denial, trying to lock away all the memories of the beatings and insults.. I was bound to snap one day, due to it all. So, it really isn't a surprise that when I started high school.. the stress of maintaining grades and then dealing with their abuse.." He went silent, rolling up his shirt sleeves. "Rantarou, look at my arms."

And so Rantarou did, and shock filled his eyes. What he saw.. he should have seen it coming, but it still rendered him speechless. He looked away from the scarred arms and instead looked at Kokichi, who was staring at the wall like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

Kokichi let out an airy chuckle, keeping his eyes averted from Rantarou's piercing gaze. "I.. I hurt myself.. to say that they didn't cause all of my physical pain.." He smiled sadly, not caring about the tears silently rolling down his cheeks. "Well, indirectly, they kind of did, since they drove me to do it. But also.. if I already hurt myself before they got to me.. they wouldn't hurt me! At least, that's what I thought.." The purple haired boy stared at his friend, rolling his sleeves back down. "They.. didn't care. They saw the cuts, and would just avoid my arms when beating me."

"But.. you're done self-harming, right..?" Rantarou asked nervously.

"Yeah. I've been clean ever since I started coming here." Kokichi wiped the tears off his face, smiling at Rantarou. "I think I needed to get all that off my chest.. thank you so much, Rantarou.."

Rantarou let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, smiling back at Kokichi. "No need for thanks, isn't that what friends are for? Besides, I could tell you needed to talk to someone, and you know I'm always willing to listen. Oh, I have an idea.." He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, tilting his head. "Want me to call Shuichi and have him come over? He's a comforting presence for you, and we can all play video games or do boring classwork or we can all fu-"

"RANTAROU, WE JUST HAD A MOMENT AND THERE YOU GO WITH YOUR DIRTY JOKES." Kokichi sighed, running a hand through his hair. "But yes, please call Shuichi."

Rantarou winked and nodded, dialing Shuichi's number, glancing at Kokichi and grinning when Shuichi picked up.

" _Rantarou? What do you need?_ " Shuichi sighed, a hint of annoyance in his tone. " _If this is about that science project, I'm not helping you with your part. We may be_ _lab partners, but you saw how well it turned out when I had to do both parts._ "

Rantarou shuddered, remembering how he practically had to keep a very sleep-deprived and infuriated Shuichi from murdering him after Rantarou decided not to do his part for a project and made his lab partner do it instead. "Nah, just wanted to know if you wanted to come chill at Kokichi's place."

" _Oh! Okay, I'll be over in a few minutes. Should I bring anything?_ " Shuichi asked.

"Just.. maybe popcorn and Panta? Kokichi.." Rantarou looked questioningly at Kokichi, who nodded. "Kokichi kind of had a little.. breakdown, I guess? He'll probably explain when you get here.."

" _Ah.. alright! I'll pick that up, I should be there in.. like 10 minutes?_ " Shuichi's tone was understanding, much to Rantarou's relief.

"Sounds good. See you then?"

" _Yeah, see you soon!_ " Shuichi said, then hung up.

Rantarou glanced over at Kokichi, who had apparently put in his earbuds and was lost in his own thoughts, tuning out the world. Understandable, really.. considering what just happened a mere few moments ago.

"Hey.. Kokichi?"

"..Mm? Oh, sorry.." Kokichi pulled out one of his earbuds, staring at Rantarou. "What is it?"

"..What're you listening to?" Rantarou asked, trying to lighten up the dreary mood with some small talk.

"Loser, by Big Bang. I can.. kinda relate to it." Kokichi murmured, looking away.

"You like K-Pop? I never would've guessed." Rantarou teased with a smirk.

"I-I heard about it online! It's the only K-Pop song I know, okay?" Kokichi grumbled, an embarrassed blush dusting his pale cheeks. "Don't think I don't know about your old love song habit!"

Rantarou's smirk immediately faded, his face turning dark red. "W-What? How- I don't like love songs! E-Especially not old ones!"

"You really do like them, Rantarou." A familiar voice teased.

Kokichi immediately stood up and ran over to the voice's owner, Shuichi, practically tackling the taller boy in a tight hug and eliciting a squeak from him, much to Rantarou's amusement.

"Well hey, lover boy~" Rantarou joked.

"Rantarou please-" Shuichi groaned, attempting to push Kokichi ( _who currently was holding Shuichi so tightly, it was like a vice_ ) off was much harder than expected, especially when one of his hands was holding a shopping bag. "Kokichi, if you don't let go, I can't give you what I bought.."

Kokichi loosened his grip only enough for Shuichi to put the bag on the table, leaning his head on his boyfriend's chest. "..Missed you." He mumbled.

Shuichi hummed in response, lightly brushing Kokichi's hair with his fingers. "Missed you too.. you doing alright?"

Kokichi nodded and grinned up at his boyfriend. "Better now.. still shaken up, but okay. Say, Rantarou-" He looked over at where Rantarou was once standing, but the mysterious green-haired boy was not there. Kokichi sighed and looked back up at Shuichi, who was now staring at the table with a blank expression on his face, much to Kokichi's confusion. It was only until Shuichi spoke that Kokichi understood why the taller boy looked so unamused.

"Rantarou Amami. If you don't get off the god damn table, I will personally beat your fucking ass with a chair." Shuichi grumbled, his classic "emo" persona returning.

Kokichi looked over at the table and saw his friend, doing that "draw me like one of your French girls" pose on the table, drinking one of Kokichi's Panta bottles. He practically _growled_ at Rantarou, pulling away from Shuichi and picking up the thickest novel he could find, promptly smacking Rantarou's kneecap with it.

Rantarou almost spit out the Panta he was drinking when struck with the book, and he ended up falling off the table and landing face-first on the floor. He groaned and lifted up his head with a wince. "Firstly, ow, and secondly, **OW**. Hitting me with a book was just overkill." He whined, pouting childishly.

Shuichi snickered, "Mmm what'cha saaaay.."

"SHUICHI SAIHARA." Rantarou rolled his eyes and grumbled, still laying on the floor. "If I didn't have to worry about Kokichi killing me as a consequence, you'd be dead by now."

As if to prove Rantarou's claim, Kokichi held up the book again. "I would kill you if you hurt my beloved Shuichi, so you're not wrong~" He chuckled, a sadistic grin replacing his trademark innocent one.

".. _Wasted_." Shuichi whispered, trying to stifle his laughter.

"You're both unbelievable." Rantarou groaned.

 They were happy for now, but Kokichi had a sense of dread that something bad would happen soon.

Then, his phone rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who's posting a chapter before they were supposed to  
> i made "loser" the song kokichi was listening to because i was ironically listening to it while writing this chapter  
> anyways, i'll be working on ch. 3 soon so maybe that'll be up by this weekend, but you never know  
> 


	4. 3;;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi nearly breaks, and Rantarou and Shuichi are very unprepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used a Japanese male name list for Kokichi's family okay- and the meanings of their names kind of represent their role/character;  
> Eldest son- Katsuro ("Victorious Son")  
> 2nd Eldest- Fumio ("Literary/Scholarly Child")  
> 2nd Youngest- Norio ("Man of Law")  
> Father- Shigeru ("Flourishing/Luxuriant")  
> Mother- Kiyomi ("Pure Beauty")

His phone was ringing.

Ringing, ringing.. so loud.. too.. damn loud.. he didn't want to answer..

He couldn't bring himself to. But, he had to, because..

 _They_ were calling.

Shuichi and Rantarou got the feeling that Kokichi would want to be alone for this call, so they told him they would wait outside, quickly exiting the apartment and leaving Kokichi alone with the dreaded call.

And what type of person would Kokichi Ouma be if he refused to submit to his family? He would be scum, the lowest of the low. And declining their call would be a direct show of defiance.

So, he answered, much to his regret.

" _Greetings, Kokichi._ " A sickeningly familiar voice said.

The voice belonged to his father. His powerful, cruel, tyrannical, father.. Shigeru.

"F-Father.. sir.."

" _You haven't been doing well with your studies. You continue only to excel in those useless classes._ "

"Art and the Drama Club..? Father, they're not usele-" Kokichi started, but Shigeru cut him off before he could finish.

" _A useless being like you taking useless classes, and excelling in said useless classes? I don't see a coincidence. You see, Kokichi.. I once considered you to be the heir to the family, to follow in my footsteps. Luckily I have Katsuro, Fumio, and Norio, since you're just a complete disappointment. I had high hopes for you. And you let me down. Disgusting._ " His father said, his tone emotionless, clearly having no problem speaking to his youngest son this way.

"I.. I'm sorry, Father.."

" _If you were truly sorry, Kokichi, you know what you would do?_ "

Kokichi could practically hear Shigeru's smirk through the phone, a ball of dread settling itself in his stomach.

" _..You would die. I don't want to hear your name, hear the fact that there is still blood pumping through my youngest descendant's veins because of his still beating heart. You being alive is an inconvenience to me and the family. Your siblings have already said they wouldn't care. Your mother would probably grieve, as you still seem to be her favorite child, but hopefully she can be convinced to let you go. When you were cutting_ _those years ago.. why didn't you just kill yourself? Oh, that's right.. you're a coward who can't do anything properly._ "  Shigeru coldly stated. " _I've wasted enough of my time speaking to you anyways. Goodbye._ " And just like that, Shigeru hung up before Kokichi could respond.

Kokichi let his phone drop to the floor, unaware of how much paler he looked. He was already pale to begin with, but now he looked a lot like a ghost. He let out a shaky sigh, going to the door and opening it, motioning for Rantarou and Shuichi to come back in. Both had looks of worry on their faces.

"Kokichi..? How did it go..?" Shuichi hesitantly asked.

"It.. went great! We totally made up, and he's considering me a son again!" Kokichi smiled, a painfully obvious fake smile as he lied through his teeth. The look of immediate doubt on Rantarou and Shuichi's faces told him that his lie was easily deducted as false. He just had to be friends with the two people that had great deduction skills, that were able to read him like a book.

Rantarou hugged the purple-haired boy tightly, feeling Kokichi tense up due to the sudden contact. "Kokichi.. please, don't lie to us. What _really_ happened? You look like a ghost, you're that pale."

Shuichi made his way over, watching with a sad look in his eyes. He felt a stab of guilt, for leaving Kokichi alone when he probably needed him and Rantarou the most. He swore to himself that he would never let that happen again, he wasn't going to let Kokichi suffer through it by himself. But first..

"Rantarou.. he probably doesn't want to speak about it right now, considering it did just happen.." Shuichi murmured, looking away. "Maybe he'll talk about it later when he feels ready, but don't force it on him right now.." In his peripheral vision, he saw the look of pure gratitude Kokichi gave him, despite the tears running steadily down the small boy's face. At least he helped make Kokichi feel a little better, if only for a moment.

"Yeah.. you're probably right. Sorry, Kokichi.." Rantarou's apology was sincere, and he loosened his grip on Kokichi. "Say, I have an idea.. Kokichi, you like amusement parks and stuff like that, right?"

Kokichi seemed to perk up slightly at the mention of amusement parks, nodding. "I do like them, but I never got to go to them often." He sighed. "Father wouldn't really allow it, said it was too 'childish'. But.. I think I'd like to go to one after all this time, it would be a fun distraction, and we'd get to spend time together. Was that your idea, Rantarou?"

Rantarou nodded, his eyes glistening with tears. Now, Rantarou didn't really cry often. But.. he was brought to tears seeing how Kokichi was starting to defy his family just by simply going to an amusement park, even if the boy himself didn't really realize it.

"That was exactly my idea.." He murmured, wiping the tears away. 

Shuichi smiled softly, pulling Rantarou and Kokichi into a hug.  "Well? Shall we go?"

Kokichi grinned happily, his eyes sparkling. "Yeah! I think I should force you two onto some roller coasters.." He winked at his boyfriend, whose face had become noticeably paler.

Rantarou chuckled, remembering how Shuichi had mentioned he disliked roller coasters. As long as Rantarou wasn't forced into anything high up, he'd be fine. But, the next thing Kokichi said made his blood run cold and stare at the other boy with a look of pure _betrayal_.

"We'll go on the tallest, most loopy roller coaster at the amusement park!" Kokichi said, smirking when he saw Rantarou's glare.

" _Kokichi Ouma, you have betrayed our friendship._ " Rantarou hissed, while Shuichi merely chuckled nervously.

"G-Guys, please, calm down.." Shuichi said meekly, the odd ahoge on his head curled up to mirror his discomfort.

"Nishishi! Rantarou, don't be such a _baby_! I thought a tough, mysterious guy like you wouldn't be afraid of heights~" Kokichi teased.

"I take offense to that." Rantarou grumbled, crossing his arms. "You used to respect me, where did that go?"

"When I saw how much of a big softie you really were~" Kokichi winked.

Shuichi rolled his eyes, chuckling softly at Kokichi's teasing. "Now now Kokichi, don't tease poor Rantarou too much. He doesn't really deserve it."

"I don't need your pity, Shuichi!" Rantarou groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Anyways, shouldn't we get going?"

Kokichi tapped his foot impatiently, nodding. "Yes, let's go already!"

"But you were the one who delayed it, Kokichi." Rantarou sighed, shaking his head.

"Guys, bickering will just lead to us putting it off more.." Shuichi chuckled. "Let's go for real, okay?"

"Can we get Panta on the way?" Kokichi asked. "I really, really wa-" He squeaked, cutting himself off when Rantarou and Shuichi both yanked him out of the apartment.

Rantarou smiled. "Come on, let's go forget our worries for a while, and maybe win some prizes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i'm gonna let next chapter be happy  
> or will i?  
> guess we'll have to see  
> and this is short and i'm v sorry-
> 
> anyways, feel free to yell at me or something on;  
> @hotsuinmiyako / @grapeshui (ig)  
> tetrishui (tumblr)

**Author's Note:**

> well hey?? this is my first fic here so be gentle with my meme heart lmao  
> anyways this is probably like a really overused plot line and crap but i came up with the idea at 1 am  
> if you want to stalk me or just keep up with my trash, feel free to stalk me on:  
> or:  
> 


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